the pain is increasing

my sanity is pleading

holding on to my last piece of reality

trying to swim in water too deep

im accepting temporary satisfaction

but hurting like fresh contractions

ready to release the pain

all while trying to stay sane

putting on my happy face

just so things dont seem displaced

crying behind this vivid smile

’suicidal thoughts’ ‘ready to die’

biggie shit banging in my ears

while i slowly release these warm tears

then my angel taps me to say, 

“Januel, baby, it’ll be okay”

so i fall on my knees and begin to pray

God comforts me in everyway

wipe my eyes, swallow my pride

cut the cord and live this life.

jpvb