wristslashes

my head aches and my arm burns.

from the cuts i put in it.

with each rub of the blade they become deeper

pain turns to numbness

as tears stream down my face

i ask myself  “how?” “why?”

did i get to this place

somedays i dream of having my old eyes back

the ones that led to a happy soul

id freely give these away

brown eyes turned black

from what i thought was love

how can one person who says they love you

make you hate yourself so deeply

promises of never hurting you again

become just another lie in the web

tangled truths

bruises left by lost love

and in the end im the one alone

you can esacpe and run back home

im stuck in 4 walls

this is like a trait for you

breakupmakeupbreakupmakeup

im just another victim

hyperventalating

vomiting

deep groans

endlessly tears

as you turn your back and walk out

im left with a broken heart and

wrists slashes.

-jpvb

 

part II

…..the 2nd part

 

The baby just cries
goo goo ga ga
he wants the bottle
mom just wails out
WHY
they started to soon
16 gave birth
didn’t jump no broom
dad is trippin
bulls piling up
the recession is hitting
HARD
son’s crying loud
but papa’s too proud
to ask for a hand
UP
and
OUT
they’re trying to get
poverty stricken because of tis kid
they fight, kid’s whinin
mom grabs the revolver
she screams
“EVERYBODY’S DYING…”
 
to be continued

jpvb

the dance

This is just something I wrote real quick while watching RHOA. It will probably be featured on another blog. There’s a part II to this also.

Here goes…

Move ya body
He pulled her like he wanted a ride
Said saddle up
Paused
Told him grab some protection
For that erection
-then
Slide
Right in, heavy sigh
Calm down
Don’t slap her thigh
Too hard
Its the way he’s moving
But don’t stop the grooving
Flip the sides
Pop
Goes the weasel
When that ish pops
Stop
Calm down
No more fooling around
Shit gets real
Cause baby girl aint on the pill
Shot or nuva ring
Damn all this from a fling
How do we tell our ppl
She tripped and fell on his dick
All for a rub of the clit
Now they’re preparing for +1
Playing grown up
Now they got a son

…to be continued

jpvb

raindrops

its becoming a lil bit too familiar

this thing called love

we’re slowly falling apart

the nights seems shorter

the days pass

as we lay side by side

no cuddling involved

sleeping on each’s respective side

questions are asked

the replies are questions

tit for tat

its becoming too familiar

emotional abuse

verbally gone bad

physically me

im becoming anger

feeling more like a mom than a gf

titles dont mean shit

each tear falling like a raindrop

slow and steady

wetting the pavement

my happiness on concrete

water damage from the tears

what is thing  called love

and what does it have to do with IT

i wanna free myself

toxicity clogs head

respiratory problems from a relationship

b-r-e-a-k

ing into pieces

timeout is a NECESSITY

lets BRAKE

slow down

move slow

STOP!

its gone from green, to yellow to

RED

bruises

from where my hearts been ripped

what do I want from this

RAIN

drops

keep fallin

from my head

and my eyes

oh these brown eyes

can’t take the rain

but its washes me

free

breaking the shackles

releasing the storm

in the end

this too shall pass.

jaypvbee

XsandOs

So my best friend just gave me the new Chrisette Michele “Epiphany” cd. OMG!! I love it! This cd describes everything I’ve been going through. I guess that is the reason she dropped it into my lap.

pinocchio

 

im starting to lose my mind

self, body, spirit.

i feel like im not who i once was

am, could be, or would like to be.

within the depths of my soul

i feel like i have been robbed

true happiness has been stolen

and replaced with a mask

strings attached to arms

gently moving at the puppeteer’s direction

[Q]werty

//…I took a swim
In the sea of guilt and misery
To find myself in an island
In the middle of nowhere
In my solitude
I asked to know the highest truth
And what I was told
Is to let own self be true…//

i never felt so down about losing friend

i feel like im going through the 7 steps of grieving a death

i wanna scream “its not fair”

but in the end i can only hate myself

mercilessly slice the wrists

with each word

fight the pain

as i plead on my knees

until they bleed

yesterday i wanted to pick up the phone

and talk to you

like old times

but i remembered

that this has been ended

communication has been severed

i really want that old thing back

my life is on the line

for this friendship

i need that old thing back

but as of now

impasse.

//…All the people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it’s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore…//

southerncomfort

home again

home again

where the cows are curbside

and the pastures grow far

the sun scorches my brown skin

the wasps run me in

but the smell keeps me going back

fresh fruit on the side of the road

bbqs and gatherings

family all together laughing

these summer days

keep me occupied

until i journey back

across the cloud

into cavity land

chocolate city

but for now

im comfortable

in my southern wonderland.

partofthelist

//…The way your sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room,
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.
I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.
and when I’m awake
staring at pictures of you asleep…//

 

in 2 days I will be departing

and the coldness in my heart

has started to defrost

how will we handle this seperation

who will be the warmth

when my anemic body is freezing

shielding me with your body

to keep me from getting cold

in 2 days my body will be on the Gulf

but a piece of me will be on the East

how do we gently seperate

from this chaotic attachment

and not know what’s next to come

if we’ll ever reunite 

but as we go from here

my face free from tears

in 2 days I’l be on the Gulf

but a piece of me will be left on the East.

-jpvb

 

jealousy

it started off great
honeymoon stage starts to fade
emotions start to flow heavy
With no label things necome complicated
for the other party involved
texts being read while one lays asleep in the bed.
rage being up because another person interferes
back turns doors slam eyes being to bring tears
the pain placed on each’s fragile heart
knowing this is not how we planned to part
jealousy is not the trait to have
consuming your world because it brings fear
makes you crazy and insecure
jealousy cannot be a mans best friend.

-jpvb